Thursday, March 25, 2010
IS SEX REALLY THAT IMPORTANT? =/
Ok so I'm back again, did ya miss me? Ok ok so as you can see my topic this time is sex. As i explained in my about me an earlier blogs I'm a new Army girlfriend and I'm currently in a relationship with my best friend of five yrs. Now before i continue i feel the need to say I love my boyfriend, hes an all around great guy who supports me in every thing i do. He can be a bit old fashion at times which can be either cute or annoying but at the end of each day there isn't not a doubt in my mind that I'm important to him. Ok with that said we have only been dating for a little over a month and since hes gone back to base he is constantly bringing up sex. Now i must admit there is always a lot of sexually chemistry between the two of us an its not like we haven't know each other for a long time but even for the times when i think i wanna i just cant. I am not a big fan of sexually activities iv had sex before with my first boyfriend an was board to death i even read a book while he was doing what ever it was he was doing. But that's beside the point i don't really care for sex. I think its gross because of all the body fluids an more importantly I'm sill not comfortable with my body i don't like being naked i hate people seeing me naked hell my own mother doesn't even know what i look like naked. At this point i don't know if this topic bothers me because hes pushing it or because I'm too immature. I just think things like that should just happen an it shouldn't be planed or pushed. Apparently sex is important in a relationship so everyone keeps telling me but i just don't know(sorry if this post isn't making any sense) but i don't understand. I don't understand why he suddenly went from talking to me all night on the phone about our future to texting me about sex. Is it because hes in the army and constantly apart from me that now sex seems to be a big topic or am i just to naive about relationships and how things really work.(i hate having to think about this )
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You need to talk to him about your feelings and what is going on. I think you do not look forward to sex because your first time, it wasnt as good as you hoped. Its not only about sex between you two, you two have known eachother for a very long time, and the sparks are there, i have witnessed them myself. I think if you explain to him what is going on, it wont cause a strain in your relationship, and he seems like he will understand. I also think that once you do have sex with him, it will be a lot more emotional than physical. When it is emotional, you feel more out of it, when it is just physical, it is horrible.
ReplyDeletein responce to what your telling me as far as my first time i had every girls expectations of it being a big deal or romantic or watever stupid thing that once went thru my mind but when i gave in to peer pressure an realized what my first time would be like i had no high expectation i just wanted it over an done with an for him to leave me alone so yes physicly i am no longer a virgin but mentally and emotional an even expericence wise when it comes down to it i am mentally a virgin but at my age (which is 19 btw) i doubt any guy is gonna role out the romantic first time sex carpet for me including my guy no matter how wonderful he is
ReplyDeletedamn i miss spelled response =/ lol
ReplyDeleteI think once you do it, your expectations will change. Its like when you see a certain movie for the first time, you expect it to be ooberly awesome to the point of you pissing yourself from it being awesome, but then you watch it, and its like, wow this sucks. Now you think another movie WONT meet your expectations, because you feel what you want is too much. But once you watch the next movie, your like "woah, its way better than i thought!!" I know its stupid to use things like a movie to compare to sex, but you get what im saying. Because your expectations werent met the first time, you think no one else will meet it, no matter how close they get. But if you try again, and this time with emotion, it may not be what you expected it to be, but it might still be great, to the point where you go "It wasnt what i thought i would enjoy, buy its still something i enjoyed doing"
ReplyDeletei understand what you are saying fully but like i said before my expectations died long before i even bought my ticket for the movie it died once i truly realized that the person playing the male lead wasnt right for the part but i still sat an watched the movie(like an ass) because i thought i was inlove an belive you me when your fifteen an a guy tells u he loves u your gonna belive it but that dosnt make it true
ReplyDeleteI know. And i know you get what im saying. The fact you didnt have expectations for the movie before you even bought the ticket WAS bad, but the great thing about life is, we make mistakes, and we learn from them. Talk to your boyfriend, tell him how you feel about the subject, i know it will be hard, maybe even just leave him a message. But you need to let him know what is going on before he thinks "Maybe its me." He will be able to help you realize that even though you wasted your money on the first movie, the next one will be worth the money and much more. Just ask yourself these questions before deciding what to do: Do i love this guy? How much? Is there a sexual attraction as well as an emotional one? Is this movie worth watching? If you can answer yes to most or all of these, then the only thing you need to do is talk to him, and figure yourself out, before moving on to making a decision about sex.
ReplyDeletedo i love him yes...more than i ever though i could ever love a guy(given my past experences)....yes there is both emotional and sexual.... as for if the movie is worth watching i dont know now when i think of going to the movies i dont wonder how its gonna began i dont care whos in it because i know the ending will suck so now i just dont go at all. i get we need to talk but i rather it not be a topic at all because when he brings it up all i do is wonder why is he talking or asking about it again am i just here to sexually entertain you an because im not doing it i therefor have no use or purpose at the moment. I was used before not interested in fighting round two. an i know i should think this way because no matter how much hes talking or asking about it now atleast hes asking it only from me an i know he dose loves me based on all our expriences togther an the lil things he dose to make sure i dont forget but of course with this topic i forget every time. when he touches me (in his im horny way lol) because its him im excited but when i think further my emotions an thought go dead in the long run. an god forbid i let myself get cough in the moment cuz later ill be thinking what the fuck was about to do or thinking of
ReplyDeleteThat is why. The movie has ended badly the first time, and you think it will again. If you have these questions as to why he is asking about sex, ASK THEM! You have the right, it is your body. But i think he is asking because he just doesnt want "Sex". He has connected with you in everyother way, but physically. You say you get excited, but you think about it too much and you compare it to the last time. You may not realize you are doing it but you are. You need to worry about the ending of the movie when it gets there, right now worry about the beginning. You have something most girls would dream of, a really great guy who loves you for you, AND finds you to be attractive. Hes loyal to you even when overseas, and even if you dont want this to be a topic, its going to be, whether you like it or not. Unless you make it a topic SOON and figure out what is going on and what you are going to do, you might lose out on an opportunity that was hand crafted and given to you by the fates. You answered most of the questions yes, all you need to do now, WITH HIM, is to figure out how this movie will end.
ReplyDeleteSufferin Succotash =_=" hard to argu because i know your right n i know i need to talk to him
ReplyDeleteYes. What makes it harder to argue is that a virgin is telling you this. I know i need to talk to a certain someone about my issues with talking to them without being bossy and making snide comments. It was something i didnt notice i did until i realized what i would say to him. If you want, i can "without you knowing" show him a link to this blog, or let it slip that you want to talk to him about it.
ReplyDelete