Sexual Fear =-/ (convo with me an a friend..i also added in some side points)

Mandy says:

i wonder if i can get sick on may 20th (im suppose to fly out to see my boyfriend may 21st)

[i][b][c=63]ѕĸínless[/c=1][/b][/i] says:

>_> dude

if you don't wanna have sex

tell him

or dont go

that way

you avoid it all together

Mandy says:

thats why i wanna get sick the day before =_= an its not that i dont want him im scared ill get scared an push him away =_=" thus ending in a fight.i hate fighting

[i][b][c=63]ѕĸínless[/c=1][/b][/i] says:

true

Mandy says:

i feel like a rape victim when im really the one who victimized myself because i didnt want to fight or be yelled at( for those who are lost i let my first/exboyfriend have his way with me an conformed to everything he said so he wouldnt yell at me an so we wouldnt get into fights)ps...yes i know i was stupid

i feel like im that girl all over again

its 40 plus days away an im already shaking in fear

[i][b][c=63]ѕĸínless[/c=1][/b][/i] says:

*pats*

if he cares for you

then he'll either

take it slow

or not do it at all

he might seem as though he wants it

because you're not there

but once you get there

and he sees it for himselr

self*

then he'll judge

and see how to take it

Mandy says:

he dosnt even know im scared

an i dont know how to explain it

[i][b][c=63]ѕĸínless[/c=1][/b][/i] says:

THEN TELL HIM INFIDEL!!

just as how you told me

you tell him

can't make it any clearer

>_>

END OF CONVO

to explain the convo above i don't know how to explain to him how i feel when it seems that we are about to have sex. or rather i don't know how to make him listen long enough to what i have to say. my friend said that from how i explained it to her she believes I'm Coitophobic which is a condition of having an abnormal, and extreme fear of having sexual intercourse. personally when i am put in a position that is sex related i either cry or become very scared and tend to look like a deer in hide lights to say the lease. however this only occurs for me when the guy takes the sexual lead. i personally however can not take the lead my self because id stop at foreplay an then get scared an timid as to what happens next. Time is ticking and the time for me to see him is getting closer an closer i don't know what to do and i don't want to loose him but if i told him all this i doubt he'd believe me at this point only 3 people believe everyone else just think its a joke =(